In 2009 I noticed Mother wasn't as sharp as she used to be, but it didn't seem alarming. In June 2012 the situation changed after Mother had been prescribed Losartan for her slight blood pressure: at Midsummer she thought we had been evacuated, a week later she asked who we were... Losartan is not supposed to impair memory, rather the contrary. She worried herself for the quick deterioration. When we went to see her doctor she told us to take her to a memory test. Mother didn't do too well in it, but refused to see a doctor for further examination. Meanwhile she has had frequent panic attacks.

In June 2013 Mother again panicked and we went to Accident & Emergency in Päijät-Häme Central Hospital (PHKS), where a doctor received us after three hours, at which time Mother no longer remenbered what was the matter, but I mentioned the Losartan problem and the doctor took her off it saying it may cause depression. After a month she seemed much better, although her memory didn't improve and she still panicked and phoned me asking where I am, telling me she is dying, etc.

On August 20th 2013 she had a fit of dizziness and fell (Full Moon, Saturn conjunct Saturn). First she was found lying naked on the floor surrounded by sleeping pills by the meals on wheels person, who called an ambulance, and then informed me that she had been taken to hospital. I phoned PHKS - not there, then I phoned Lahti City Hospital - not there either. Finally I found out that she had not been taken to hospital at all! Of course I phoned home, no reply. Finally round 3 pm there was a reply, it was our home help service person who said that she was being taken to an ambulance. Again - or still - she had been lying naked on the floor surrounded by sleeping pills. In the evening I reached her in PHKS in a very confused state. At 9 pm she was taken to Lahti City Hospital And there she was for three weeks.

On Wednesday 21st she was still very confused, talking of having been in a St. Petersburg theatre where there had been tiny cats and big cats, tiny people and big people, and of travelling by boat and train, asking me whether I was going to Viipuri or Uuras, etc. She sat tied to a wheelchair, with her glasses, teeth and keys left home. Next day she was better and sat on her bed, and on Friday she was already very clear-headed, She was taken to a brain scan on Friday when I came to see her. On Saturday she had progressed to using a walker.

Since then her condition varied. She used to roam corridors accosting nurses asking when she can go home. To me they replied that we'll know tomorrow, but the tomorrow kept moving ahead. On Monday the 26th I returned to work in Helsinki having taken 3 days off imagining she'd be out in no time, but I spent the nights in Lahti and visited Mother every evening. On Monday evening I found out that it was permissible to let her smoke outside, so since Tuesday I had cigarettes and matches with me, and she smoked two cigarettes before I put them back in my bag. On Wednesday afternoon (28th) the nurse in charge phoned me and told that she won't be going home till next Monday, and that she will be given medication for her memory. In the evening she was again worse: in a good mood, but talking of there being a strike of cleaners and asistant nurses, and at times thinking she was back at the Office of Education... Next weekend (August 30th - September 1st) she was her normal self, and on Monday I expected her back home as promised, but when I phoned the hospital I was told that she had been confused and restless during the night and that they would change her medication and keep her in hospital for observation. When I went to see her, she was tired but in a good mood and clear-headed. Next day I got a phone call from the hospital saying that they plan to take her home on trial Wednesday next week (September 11th), with people from the home help service to see how she copes. On Thursday the hospital physiotherapist phoned to ask whether I thought it would be necessary to have Mother's need of aids at home charted, because Mother doesn't think so. In any case, her return home was starting to feel real. Since Sunday September 1st she  has seemed softer and more cheerful, but her memory has not improved.

On the September 11th she was sent home alone in a taxi with a walker. Her medication was completely changed: two new anti-depressants for the evening and a rivastigmine patch to be changed every morning, plus of course her old sleeping pills. The rivastigmine patch seems effective. On September 18th a person from the municipal home help service came, and it was agreed that they come every working day morning to distribute Mother's medicines for the day and vacuuum once a forthnight. The private home help service that we have had before comes in the future every other forthnight to clean.

As a whole Mother seems more balanced, but the diagnosis doesn't bode well for the future.